We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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