sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
