I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
