That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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