i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
