I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
