why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
