I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
