did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Are my feet made of real feet?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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