Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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