Pants 0. Shit 1.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
