How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
