Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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