Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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