How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
