Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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