Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
