I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
