if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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