She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
