I skipped work to stalk him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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