He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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