I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
