i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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