Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
