Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
