We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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