How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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