Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
