VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How external is "for external use only"?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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