well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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