i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
