I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
