from now on my penis is your penis
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Never joke about your clitoris.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
