I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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