so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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