One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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