My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
