here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
