me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
