what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
