I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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