She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
