ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
