you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
