That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
