We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
