I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
