HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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