Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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