we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
