i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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